It has been 5 years since I said a final farewell to my friend Kim Helton. It was one of the most painful periods of my life. Although we had both chosen different paths and no longer saw each other, I still considered her a very dear friend. We were best friends from age 15 to 28. We had a lot of good times together during those 13 years. Kim was like the sister I never had. She could light up a room with just her smile. She was vivacious, hilarious and unique. The world is a dimmer place without her presence in it.
When I got my driver's license at 16, I went to Kim's house and took her and her sister Emily for a ride. They lived about 2 miles from me at the time.
I was there when she had her first baby and she was there when I said "I do" to Roger.
Kim shared with me her love of hiking and we spent a lot of time at Panther Creek Park - one of her favorite places around. She was the one person I could "think out loud with" and not worry about her judging me and vice versa.
She helped me get ready for my prom and my wedding. She was there with me for my dad's funeral and burial. She was there for me during numerous heart breaks and the pains of growing up. We would always have fun when we were together.
I haven't been to see her graveside since last year and I plan on visiting her on September 2. When I go, I talk to her like she is really there with me. I sit beside of her in the grass like we used to do at the park and tell her how things are going in my life. I usually bring her a plaque, wind chime or something to let her know how much she still means to me.
It's hard for me to remember the day her sisters Diane and Emily came to my house with the sad news that Kim had died. I went into denial. I could not grasp it. We were so young - only 33 at the time. The funeral was one of the most painful ones I have ever attended, other than my father's. But I think the hardest thing was leaving her at the graveside. I couldn't do it. I stood with my hand on her coffin not wanting to say that final goodbye. Everyone else left, not wanting to be there for the actual burial. Everyone left except her best friend Jill Free. She stayed there with me and we talked about Kim. The undertakers gave me the shovel and asked if I wanted to put the first shovel full of dirt on her grave so I did, told her goodbye and Jill did the same. It was one of those moments in life that no matter how long I live, I will never forget it. It was so special to me. Jill and I stayed with her until after the grave was completely covered, with the flowers beautifully arranged on top. She would like her final resting place in the country, her favorite place since she was as country as cornbread:)
I know that someday I will see Kim again and I can't wait to see her. I can hear her now "What took you so long, LouLou?"
I love and miss you my dear friend.
No comments:
Post a Comment