I was walking through my best friend Kim's yard one morning and tripped over the water lid thingie in her yard and fell face-first into her grass. I laid there giggling because of how ridiculous I looked and I was very thankful that it was 3 a.m. and no one was watching.
Two weeks later, I was with Kim and her brother Lee as we walked into a pool party at Lee's girlfriend's house. I missed a step (it was dark) and KAPLUNK. I was so embarrassed that I jumped up so quickly Kim didn't realize I had fallen. Only one guy saw me and made the comment "At least you didn't drop your beer." Gee thanks dude. I told Kim I needed to talk to her back at the car and showed her my legs. Blood was dripping down both of them. I was young and not as out-going as I am now so I didn't want Kim to say anything to draw attention to my legs. She assured me she wouldn't as we were walking back to the party. As soon as we got into the house, she screams "Look at Lynette's legs!" and busted out laughing. I was so mortified, especially when the homeowner freaked and over did the taking-care-of -the-victim thing. I guess she was afraid of a lawsuit. Later after all the excitement had subsided and I was reclining on a lawn chair by the pool, some guy asked Kim "Well Kim, what do you think about it?" Kim didn't miss a beat and said "I think a 30 pound bag of flour would make a helluva a biscuit." We all laughed so hard we about fell in the pool.
After a high school football game, I was running to get in my mom's car. I was wearing slick flats and you guessed it, fell in front of God and everyone right in the middle of the road. I did my one and only split:)
One night while we were camping out over the 4th of July weekend, we were all sitting around the campfire talking. All of a sudden my chair starts falling backward and there I laid, with my feet up in the air! What did my kind and caring friends do? They took a picture of me! I was like "Can someone please help me?" Sandy and Charisse laughed for 30 minutes over that. I didn't think it was that funny.
Sandy, me and Kim
More recently, I was at a yard sale when my foot went into a snake hole and down I went, face first in the yard. Luckily I did not break my foot, only my change purse. I squished it like a bug and it cut my hand. No one at the yard sale acknowledged my gymnastic maneuver although I know they had to witness it.
Oh my gosh, I almost forgot the big one. I was walking down the hill in our church parking lot, my ankle twisted and down I went. My husband did not see me spread eagle on the ground, but a caring church member walked by and said "You better get up before someone runs over you." Ah, the compassion. I had fallen and I could not get up. Not only was I mortified, I could not walk. I ended up at the ER, my foot turned black and purple (which is my favorite color but I don't want my foot that color) and I had to wear a fuzzy house slipper to work for a few weeks. It was a very bad sprain.
I have fallen in a restaurant, I have fallen down a muddy hill while wearing white shorts, I have fallen into a pool, fallen in the hall at work, fallen down stairs, in my own yard, fallen out of a trailer, fallen while hiking up Mt. LeConte, fallen off a Harley, off a horse...come to think of it, I have probably fallen more since I became an adult than I did when I was a child.
My cousin Becky
I was once sitting on the front porch with my friend Jeff and my cousin Becky when all of sudden, the porch gave way (it was an old house), my chair fell through and I would have fallen off the porch and probably broken my neck or another bone, but Jeff caught me. He was my hero. Unfortunately, he has not been around since:) At one doctor visit, after having a painful procedure, I stood up, passed out and fell down, taking out a small nurse with me.
And of course, I have fallen in love a few times.
No comments:
Post a Comment